Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
