I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
