playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
