Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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