oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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