my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
