apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
