"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
