is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
