Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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