im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
