suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
