I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize