pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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