I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize