I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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