kristin has been a bad kristin
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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