I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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