WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
