Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
