How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
