Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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