As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
