hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
