Sry I called you an 8
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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