It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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