Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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