I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
