Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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