Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
