We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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