remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
