I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
