physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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