i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
