I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
