If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
