the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
