So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
