those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
