Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize