then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
