I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
