she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
