I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
