what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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