even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
