so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
