My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I will be naked everywhere
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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