they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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