I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
