i think i have two assholes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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