is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
