If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
