went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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