So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize