it wasn't lemon gatorade
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
