Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
