honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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