i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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