I wanna bring you to show and tell
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
